I am working on a list of titles of books that, if written, would be stinkers. So far I have:
The Abandoned Quonset Hut.Quonset 2, north of Dickinson Bayou at Hwy 146, Texas 0404091454, by accent on eclectic
I imagine this as a thriller, perhaps in the vein of The Thing. Or it could be a cosy catastrophe, with military survivors or something. I definitely think it should take place above 60 degrees latitude, I don't know why, nor does it matter because it would suck.
The Suicidal Chipmunk
Don't jump pal!, by Cleber Mori
This could be a morality tale à la James Thurber's Fables for Our Times, but not like David Sedaris' more recent animal stories, which I don't like. Though, since this is a book that should never be written, maybe the Sedaris stories are the model. I don't see how this book could be anything but terrible.
The title refers to the fancy way of saying "crop dusting," a mode of expression with which I became familiar in childhood from driving past a school for it in LaSalle, Colorado. But I think the book would be about a fraught romance between two trapeze artists. And it would be unspeakably foul.