I am working on a list of titles of books that, if written, would be stinkers. So far I have:
The Abandoned Quonset Hut.Quonset 2, north of Dickinson Bayou at Hwy 146, Texas 0404091454, by accent on eclectic
I imagine this as a thriller, perhaps in the vein of The Thing. Or it could be a cosy catastrophe, with military survivors or something. I definitely think it should take place above 60 degrees latitude, I don't know why, nor does it matter because it would suck.
The Suicidal Chipmunk
Don't jump pal!, by Cleber Mori
This could be a morality tale à la James Thurber's Fables for Our Times, but not like David Sedaris' more recent animal stories, which I don't like. Though, since this is a book that should never be written, maybe the Sedaris stories are the model. I don't see how this book could be anything but terrible.
Untitled, described as "aerial applicator at work near Pettit," by Elliot Blackburn
The title refers to the fancy way of saying "crop dusting," a mode of expression with which I became familiar in childhood from driving past a school for it in LaSalle, Colorado. But I think the book would be about a fraught romance between two trapeze artists. And it would be unspeakably foul.